I got really frustrated with everything and mostly everyone today. To the point where I had to stop myself from crying because I wanted to throw a temper tantrum. One of my professors even encouraged it. Today wasn’t supposed to be a bad day, today should’ve been a sort of closure. I know that everyone’s burnt out - myself included - so it’s not like anything could’ve really been done.
I ate some hearty food as an early lunch, laid in the sun for at least an hour, helped a friend move herself into her exhibition space for senior show, and then got lost in PA for a while.
Driving aimlessly with Sam has always seemed so natural. We didn’t listen to music but just listened to the fields. I really do love Pennsylvania.
I started college with her and I’ll be damned if I don’t finish it with her.
This year I’m searching to find what it means to have a home and to make a home. Among the truck loads of other things I want to attempt to accomplish or start.
I made tuna for Sam and Kate and we sat/laid on the roof outside my room while eating it. I seriously love nothing more than cooking for other people. Even if I wasn’t eating the meal, I would enjoy making someone a meal and knowing that they’ve enjoyed it.
I am excited to begin my next journey in life. I’m excited for the mistakes, for breaking in new routines, for the new smells and sights, for new jobs, for new struggles, and for maintaining the old.
I am ready for whatever is about to happen. I am ready to be living with Sean soon. I am ready to own a bakery or library or gallery or something with Samantha. I am ready to be working a retail job that barely makes my bills or be working several jobs or several internships. Or at least I’d like to pretend I’m ready for these things.
tomorrow i need to: